I Just Want Simple Life, That's It.....

I just want simple life, and that's what I want; however, how come it is so difficult for me to have such simple life.....

I just watta have a girl who loves me, and I love her too;
I just watta get married with her after 2 years or so of courting;
I just watta have our own family with at least 2 kids;
I just watta have a simple and happy life thereafter with her and the kids and surely my mother and her households.....

But...... what on earth is it so difficult for me...... >_<
Again and again, I can't advance........ :(
Are You playing me??
Am I a loser forever??
Sigh.........................

How Life can be??

How Life can be??

Can Life be smooth and straightforward??


















Or, Life is full of competition, like a track racing??



Is Life with companion??

Or, run alone??

Nobody wants up and down, and nobody wants to be alone.... and neither do I. Therefore, may God show His mercy and grace upon me.... >_<

Insight from a Beggar

Drove through Marine Drive on the way to the Secret place, and I saw a baggar on the street. An idea popped up: Will a beggar or a poor person spend time to feel down or sad about an unhappy event, or will they carry on to earn for life??

For us, we may spend time to feel sad cos' we may not worry about our living (may be), but poor people may not (insight) worry too much about it cos' earning for living matters much...... Agree or not??

Better or Worser??

I had a strange dream before I suddenly woke up: I met a group of old H.K. secondary classmates, and I said to them, "Don't beat me, don't beat me." (Something like that, I can't recall exactly) They led me to a chapel, but it turned out to be a restaurant; a man was sitting there, and there were so many dishes on the table. The man named "Henry;" I knew him in the dream, but I don't think I know him in reality. Who was this Henry?? Why was there a group of my old classmates whom I never dreamed before?? This Henry looked like Rev. Wing Wong but he also looked like Rev. Arnold Yeung..... Hmmmm...... weird dream!! Any hidden meaning?? Or, just normal dream??

Anyhow, I played squash w/ Greg tonite like the past few weeks. After the game, we ate together. I shared w/ him about my struggle to the future and my idea about God seemed like "kicking" me back to H.K. I have nothing to miss here now: not many close buddies, not like the minstry here, and no more her; cf. to past, I love here, but now....... oh well....... sigh...... >_<

Bourne Ultimatium

I saw the Bourne Ultimatium at Metro (1200) today, and the film was so cool.....

Also, my mood was a bit better after watching the movie; however, it got worse again after seeing her MSN info..... sigh.....

Come on, heal me, strengten me and prepare for me, plssssssssssssssssssssss, Lord!!

Drastic Change?!

Will you change drastically after 9 days?? Well, it surely depends, but it should NOT be much.

If there is a huge change after that time span, there is nothing wrong with the surrounding people but the one who suddenly changes.

Well, perhaps, some kind of excitement, wildness, selfishness, "flower heart" (in Chinese), disloyalty, waywardness and disrespect, etc.

Then, a lot of seemingly reasonable and holy excuses + lies + you have to bid me but no other choices, etc.

Can we stand this kind of person?? Can we respect them?? They "think" they are right, and you have to follow what they say, demand and think no matter what!!

Don't say I feel sorry; don't say I am right.... Come on, and it does NOT make any sense!! Sigh, so frustrated and upset about this kind of person.....

Frustrated and Disgusted.....

Sigh..... I watta get back to my normal sleep cos' I have not been sleeping well for more than half a month!! What is normal sleep?? It means that I can sleep at nite and wake up in the morning; however, I can only sleep at dawn or even early morning...... oh man......

Stress is a factor, and disappointment / upset / feeling being betrayed / being told lies / feeling disgusted with somebody's act + speech + thought / left behind / loneliness / loss sense of security, hope, future..... etc are another factors, so much bitter and disgusted!!

Blog Again.....

Here I am, and I start blogging again since almost 2 years ago.....

Well, perhaps, blog is a good place that you can write down and talk about your inner secrets, which you can't and don't want talking to other people at this moment.....

Hmmmm..... so sad these days and don't watta do anything but just want to leave this place for a period of time...... >_<